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The Big Job/Transcript
Act 1 Kim: Wow, Chez Couteau, How’d you score a table? Ron: It’s all who you know KP. Kim: Wade? Eddie Lioose: Um, yea. He jacked the reservation line for me. Kim: Oh, that’s so sweet. Wow… this is kinda expensive. Ron: Not the kid’s menu. Might I recommend the nugget stewed chicken? Or the Griddled Homage? Hello! Kids eat free! Kim: Ron, not the coupons again? Eddie Lioose: Don’t mess with a good thing KP. Kim: We’re not kids. At least I’m not. Ron: Right, right, so if anyone asks you’re under 12. Kim: Ron I can’t! Eddie Lioose: I know what you’re thinking Kim. Kim: You do? Ron: Garson! Hi, this baby otter isn’t going to color itself. Why no brown? What’s closer to otter, Red or Blue? Kim: Ron, this is ludicrous. Eddie Lioose: I know! You’d think a swank place like this could spring for a real box of crayons. Oh and know what… watch your vocab Kim, ludicrous is kinda a grown up word. Remember, you’re 12. So maybe Duffy or stupido. (Intro) Drakken: They think a prison cell can hold Dr. Drakken? Ha! Why at this very moment, the entire criminal underworld is deciding who will have the honor of breaking me out! Frugal: Yea who? Who’s it gonna be? Wait don’t tell me, don’t tell me! I know! It’s you! Drakken: Um… Me? Lucre, think for a minute, I’m the one in prison! Frugal: But you, you, you’re the real genius, you’d invent some kind of teleportation time machine allowing you to rescue yourself, but hell no, okay no, then there would be two of you! And the inherent possibility of two Drakken’s in the same place at the same time would force the time space continuum to repair itself by merging the two Drakken’s into one! Who would be…? Drakken: Standing right where I am now? Frugal: Oh! You are good! Oh yea! Oh you’re gonna take me with you right? Yea, I’ll go get my stuff. Drakken: Ah! at last! I’m back baby, I’m… hey! Wait! Come back! She’s only the side kick! You want me, I’m the master mind. I’ve got tred! Check out my prison tats yo! Frugal: Is there time to go potty before we go? Drakken: Potty? Gha! Shego: Not to seem ungrateful Jr. But why the hell did you beak me out of prison? SSJ: Well, my father’s birthday is coming up. Shego: Hold it right there slick, I don’t do cakes, I don’t bake em, and I don’t jump out of em. Jack Bianski: Oh no no, it is nothing like that. I thought the best present I could give papie was a perfectly executed caper! Shego: And you committed a major felony so I could help you pull it off? Oh that’s so thoughtful. SSJ: Well our last crime together went flawlessly except for the part where we got caught and arrested. SS: Jr. more celery sticks and some of that um… fizzy orange beverage. SSJ: Coming Pappie. Shego: Fizzy beverage? I’m confused. Jack Bianski: It is father’s weekly card game with friends. You would not believe how they go through the snacks, especially the Snicker Doodles. Shego: Maybe we should heist some Snicker Doodles. Act 2 Monique: Uh-oh, I know that look. It says bad date. Coupons gain? Kim: Well, Ron took me to a really nice restaurant last night and um… Monique: Any actual money change hands? Kim: Well… sorta. Monique: Coupons for kids eat free don’t count. That boy needs a job. Kim: I hinted. Monique: Don’t hint, lead by example. Kim: Me? Work at Club Banana? Monique: It would be brilliant having you here. And it might give Ron the right idea. Kim: Oh, I don’t know. Monique: Kim… employee discount. Kim: I’m in! Monique: Welcome to club B girl. Ron: Ah, what will it be today? Pickle on a pike? Kim: Ron, about these coupons… Ron: Aren’t they great! Kim: Not commenting. Monique: If the stuff in that coupon book was worth something, they wouldn’t be giving it away. Eddie Lioose: I won’t dignify that with a response. Monique: Cause you don’t have one. Ron: Hell, why else do you pull that line? Kim: Go Wade. Wade: Hey Kim, get this. Last night somebody broke Shego out. Kim: And Drakken? Wade: Nope, just Shego. Ron: Again? Kim: Any idea who broke her out this time? Wade: Not yet, I’m trying to get a fix. I’ll keep you posted. Kim: Well, I better get to work. Monique: Kim’s starting her new job today. Kim: I’m working at Club Banana now. Monique: You know Ron; if you had a job then you’d have… Ron: Impossible hours? Monique: No. More coming soon!